A Mama's Heart

As depression sets in and my desire to do anything productive fades away, I am left sitting here at the computer desk battling feelings of numbness and waves of emotion. At Riley's 9 month check up today, one of my worst fears I tried so hard to fight stared me in the face. As I laid my baby on the weight scale, the nurse asked what my guess was. I responded that I was hoping for 16 pounds but would be happy with 15 anything. She announced 14.13 and my heart dropped. I knew her pediatrician would not be pleased with this and I beat myself up for not trying harder to get her to eat more. As I put a fresh diaper on my underweight baby in our small exam room, I wondered what our next step would be.

A FEW DAYS LATER...

The appointment I was speaking of above was on Monday. This is Friday. So I am not in a state of shock anymore. In fact, today when the nurse called to inform me of the appointment they scheduled for us with the GI folks in Cleveland, I canceled it on the spot. After a lot of  consideration, we decided it was not an urgent need. Riley is thin, yes. But so far it has not impaired her development or her growth. She is a very tall little girl and her head circumference is growing like normal. Galen and I are going to be very pro-active with feeding Riley and expect to see a difference. Sometimes, it's hard when you have such an easy-going baby because she hardly fusses. Plus, her primary seizure med, Topamax, decreases hunger. So that's not doing us any favors in the weight gain area! We feel there are clear explanations to why she's not gaining weight. (Medications, genetics,etc.) Galen and I both see where we can step it up a notch and help her. The pediatrician is trying to head off problems before they happen, and I appreciate that, but they're not here yet. Riley is still seizure free {YAY!!!} and is crawling. The PT says she really is not behind developmentally. She's just not advanced. Anyways, there are more details but it is late (?) or super early depending how you look at 12:25am. Bottom line, I'm tired and need to get some zzz's.  I'll try to blog more! :(  I won't feel so overwhelmed and you will be filled in more. Even if some details are trite. Good night!



Riley and Mommy at Daddy's first truck pull!



Riley in her new sleeping position!